Our place is a complete mess, again... even though my sister-in-law came and cleaned last week. But what should I expect, I am so not able to do anything other than care for and adore and soothe and feed and all of the above my almost 6-week-old baby girl. Thank God my wonderful husband is now with her so I can actually take a bath today. He drew me a bath! Yay!
And yet I hear her in the other room right now, her little whimpers and coos (yes she's finally starting cooing!), and I want to drop my needs yet again and stroke her little face and hold her in the way I know she likes to be held. But if I don't care for myself, I simply cannot care for her.
It has been the craziest past almost 6 weeks of my life. This is my first time actually writing about it because, where do I find the time? It's been a time of adjustment and trial and error and error and trial... a time of complete and utter brokenness and incredible joy. I am so thrilled to be a mom. And scared of course. The responsibility is huge!
A woman has absolutely no idea what motherhood really truly is until she experiences it for herself. She'll never see her own mother or any other mother the same again. There is this unspoken bond that is unlike any other that I now have with every other mother. And my girl will not understand until she, if she becomes a mother. But it's something I hope she understands someday, the beauty of being not only a woman, but a woman who gives life.
Well my boob is heavy and I need to empty it now, I mean feed Rhiannon. :) And maybe then I'll get to my bath, I hope!
Ciao!
