You give and take away

Ninety-four years of life
then death
now life eternal
Babies I've made mine
are leaving me
And I am not the same anymore

It is a season of much change
Death and dying, loss and letting go...
and a strong tide of the new, currents from afar
here and coming still
I could be swept away by the undercurrents
and I could drown in sorrow
But winter is nearly over, and spring is waiting with its fruit

Spring is waiting with its fruit
My breasts ready, heavy
A land flowing with milk and honey
I am and will be

Trina gave us monarch caterpillars
one died, the other now a chrysalis
suspended by a thread
morphing before my eyes

So how can I drown when I know that death is not the end?
If I choose to drown in sorrow, I will also drown in joy -
for they meet as one
I am seeing that death must always precede new life
Suffering before celebration
Labor before birth

If I cannot accept the going, how can I accept the coming?
As I feel this sorrow, I am kicked from inside by love
As I swallow my food, I am not merely taking, but am giving
giving to new life, this new life given to me
For I am we

A baby, all mine, nestled closer than any other
close as my heart
connected by a cord
Morphing mother and child
our hearts beat life life life

the mermaids

I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
I do not think they will sing to me. 
I have seen them riding seaward on the waves. 
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black. 
We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us, and we drown. 

 ~ T.S. Eliot