You give and take away

Ninety-four years of life
then death
now life eternal
Babies I've made mine
are leaving me
And I am not the same anymore

It is a season of much change
Death and dying, loss and letting go...
and a strong tide of the new, currents from afar
here and coming still
I could be swept away by the undercurrents
and I could drown in sorrow
But winter is nearly over, and spring is waiting with its fruit

Spring is waiting with its fruit
My breasts ready, heavy
A land flowing with milk and honey
I am and will be

Trina gave us monarch caterpillars
one died, the other now a chrysalis
suspended by a thread
morphing before my eyes

So how can I drown when I know that death is not the end?
If I choose to drown in sorrow, I will also drown in joy -
for they meet as one
I am seeing that death must always precede new life
Suffering before celebration
Labor before birth

If I cannot accept the going, how can I accept the coming?
As I feel this sorrow, I am kicked from inside by love
As I swallow my food, I am not merely taking, but am giving
giving to new life, this new life given to me
For I am we

A baby, all mine, nestled closer than any other
close as my heart
connected by a cord
Morphing mother and child
our hearts beat life life life